Wednesday, October 01, 2008
The Most Beautiful Woman in the Playhouse....
I had a horrible revelation today while navigating my way up 91 North in the pouring rain. Sarah Palin is playing us all. From the moment her face was plastered on every news outlet and blog in the universe anger erupted from all sides. Mostly because the media, used to their customary hand job in the back seat of the Cadillac we like to refer to as the first amendment, were not properly introduced to Mrs. Palin and subsequently had to jack themselves off – much to their chagrin.
Crazy stories about pregnant unwed teens, witch doctors, retards and tattooed lip liner flooded every lane and exit on the information super highway blocking the rescue crews from getting to the mangled wreck of how a potential vice president should be handled and applying the jaws of life. All of this was in the master plan of the Republicans, who for some reason have the market cornered on evil geniuses. All of it – from her nonsensical answers to seemingly direct questions, to her folksy demeanor – was in the can long before any of us outside of Juneau could reckon. It’s a total academy award worthy act.
I won’t be surprised in the least if she nails Joe Biden to the wall in tomorrow’s debate. She very well could come across as a slick, well-scripted politician with all the right answers and a smoking set of gams to boot. By letting the McCain campaign frame the entire debate around phony sexism and “gotcha journalism” the media has no choice but to retaliate. But their sheer predictability out of profound laziness will play exactly into the hand of McCain.
The bar has been lowered so far that Mrs. Palin can basically step over it without even showing any thigh. This is too easy for her. And if I’m right, it’s going exactly as planned. Biden hasn’t got a chance because we no longer care about the issues. All we’ll be looking for is Palin to completely fuck up beyond reproach. This is not going to happen. She’ll sparkle and shine. She’ll look lovely. We’ll eat it up. Nothing said will even resonate with anyone. Each base will walk away with what they’re craving. “Undecided” aka low information voters will comment on her looks, her accent, that she was sharper than they’d imagined and she’ll win it. All. A beautiful woman is never taken seriously. No matter what happens, she can’t lose. But for now, let’s savor the absurdity for a little longer. I give you Sarah Palin (nee Heath) in the talent portion of the Miss Alaska pageant.