Saturday, January 24, 2009

Is it hot in here?

Well guys, I'm off to sunny Florida for a conference in Clearwater. It's beyond exciting for me because I haven't been warm since October! It brings to mind my favorite line from The Pope of Greenwich Village when Paulie exclaims on more than one occasion, "It's warm there, Charlie." Yes indeed, it is. Maybe I'll check out the world headquarters of Scientology or eat dinner at 4:00 with the rest of the population. Such possibilities! I know it's too cold to swim, but a nice long walk on the beach is just about what I need right now. That and a couple of dozen Mai Tais. See y'all in about a week!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Take two...

Apparently, Justice John "Doofus" Roberts really screwed up Obama's oath of office pledge. You know, the one watched by 5 billion people around the world. So in an effort to quash the conspiracy theorists and all manner of right wing goon-speak, President Obama took the oath again yesterday. Just so we're clear - he really is the president - the powers of the Illuminati are not at work. Move along, people. Nothing more to see here.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Friday, January 16, 2009

Remind me again...Why do I live here?

This is the thermometer on the back deck of my house. No, there is no trick photography here. When did Connecticut become Alaska? Burr......

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

As if Bush wasn't enough of a national embarassment....

There are thousands of real journalists all over America - people who have actually been trained to cover news stories and report on them - who can't land even an assignment editor's position at the local rag for $10 an hour. Yet this jackass, Joe the Plumber, who obviously isn't capable of formulating a coherent sentence on film, let alone on paper, gets the gig of a lifetime and travels to Israel to cover the fighting in the Gaza strip.

A real journalist would be formulating questions, obtaining details about military and cultural history and interviewing as many significant players as they can find.

Not Joe. No, he wastes his time bitching about how there should be no war correspondents (except him?) and asking the most asinine, base questions, to....wait for it....another journalist! To quote the great Ron White, "you can't fix stupid."

Here's a taste. I recommend washing it down with a double shot of bourbon:

JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media's slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel's being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?

REPORTER: Do I believe it?

JOE: Yeah, do you?!
REPORTER: I'm Israeli, so...
JOE: So answer the question!

REPORTER: No, I don't think Israel is bad.
JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?
JOE: You do?!
JOE: Have you said that on air?
REPORTER: I'm just a reporter.

Read the full report here if you have the stomach:

"Joe the Plumber Fights With Israeli Reporter"

Friday, January 09, 2009

Happy Friday

I think I'll start writing poetry again
Not because I'm in need of a friend
Or pining over some ancient love lost
Not for an audience or the praise of a crowd
No, I'm far too busy for that now

The days come up fast and there is so much to do
Cats to feed
Cooking too
News shows to watch
And letters to write
Important conversations to be had
Over drinks and candlelight

My reasons are simple, selfish and true
It's not because I've nothing better to do
Believe me, a million tasks I could easily find
To bide away my dwindling time
And squander away life's purest delights
With politics and paying bills
The whole gamut of a grown up's plight

Yet it takes but a moment to turn a phrase
Raise a dry smile - seize the day
Honestly, all I want to be able to say
Is that I wrote a poem today.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Happy Birthday In Heaven Mr. Presley...

Today marks the 74th birthday of the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley. I grew up listening to the King, thanks to my mother and her infinite love of all things Elvis. So many of his songs hold a special place in my heart, but none as dear as the one you're about to listen to. Without further ado, "Love Me."

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Quote of the Year....

It is especially gratifying to see a political pundit get verbally bitch slapped on national television. If that blow hard mouthpiece happens to be Joe Scarborough, the joy is even sweeter. Thank you Dr. Brzezinski!

Scarborough: "You cannot blame what's going on in Israel on the Bush administration."

Brzezinski: "You know, you have such a stunningly superficial knowledge of what went on that it's almost embarrassing to listen to you."

Friday, January 02, 2009

As a communications director I can assure you I’ve had some real dooseys when it comes to cyber experiences over the years but nothing even comes close to what I was witness to a few weeks ago.

I was invited to attend a wake through my Facebook page. You read that right. Facebook has now become the new medium to express sorrow and grief.

Perhaps it has something to do with the departed. Tragically, he was only 23 years old. The magnitude of the devastation many members of my own family had to endure at the horrible news of his demise was heartbreaking. I should know, as many were constantly updating their profile “what are you doing right now” fields practically every hour on the hour with some of the most profoundly sad expressions of loss that I’ve ever read outside of a Russian novel.

I’m not saying it’s wrong. I’m saying it’s weird.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit feeling overwhelmingly uncomfortable as I hit the “will attend” button right next to ads for Oprah’s Acai Berry Diet and Colon Cleansing. The tackiness aside, it was as if I were replying to an invitation to happy hour after work or an acquaintance’s upcoming baby shower. Still stranger were the photos of all the Facebook friends right up there on the page, those planning to attend, not to or still thinking about it, the plethora of images - each one vying to be most unique or funny in a sea of everyone else attempting the same - each with their own individual perspective that when taken as a whole is exactly like the next and the next and still the next.

Our tireless efforts at nonconformity are the cruelest joke of all when it comes to the 2.0 phenomenon. We all look the same to the advertising jackals. The minor tweaks that need to be executed to customize our collective consumer experience are laughable. The consequences, however, may very possibly be catastrophic.

Have we as a society become so immune to advertising that we’ve accepted it as a part of our deepest moments of despair and elation? Have we fallen victim to its audacity and intrusion so completely that its offense is suddenly palatable? Perhaps through generations of conditioning our racing minds have learned to acknowledge an image with the tag line, “Tired of Waxing?” for a nano-second, store it and return to experiencing real human emotion.

Maybe my status as a cyber immigrant has something to do with my unease at this latest trend in grieving. The sympathy card has been replaced with a poorly written text message complete with misspellings and painfully free of grammatical punctuation. What’s next? Starbucks gift certificates in place of the Mass card?

The younger generations, the cyber natives as I like to call them, those born into the computer technology age, in many ways are the biggest dupes of all. Although Facebook is an excellent means of communication and has become absolutely essential to so many of us who rely on it to stay in touch with friends and family, the degree of personal information people willingly offer to virtually anyone is profoundly disturbing. And worse still is the inconceivable gullibility of the age.

Then again, Scarlett Johansson recently put her snot filled Kleenex on EBay. It was a top entertainment headline. Bids topped $2,025 by 9:00 a.m. the next morning. The lunatics are now running the asylum.