We're all used to getting the occasional email from the government of Sweden informing us that we've just won the national lottery or the former finance minister of Zimbabwe offering us a hefty percentage of the $2 million he needs to safely transfer to a US bank.
Today the ballsiest of all requests arrived in my in box and I feel obligated to share this patriotic audacity with you, fair reader. I especially like that part about the prisoners confessing after being tortured, and their amazing find of an undisclosed number of "nuclearweapons."
Just in case you feel the need to thank this "patriot" for his service you can email him at his shell account: firstname.lastname@example.org. American scam artists are getting so sloppy lately. They seem to be running out of ideas at an alarming pace.
I am Steve Marthins from the hospitality state (Mississippi), of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq.
On the 21st day of December 2008, we were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured.
In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp. Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclearweapons, one filled with hard drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $23.2M a fter I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them.
I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.
I am in keen need of a “Reliable and Trustworthy” person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq.
I assure and=2 0promise to give you 15% of this fund, however feel free to
negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this
Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission.
Please for the confidentiality of this deal.