Top Five Superficial Reasons Why I Hate Sarah Palin....

1. She met Bono

2. Guest stint on SNL

3. $150K on fancy new duds

4. Hall of fame for all time stupidest kids' names

5. That ridiculous accent

Qualin Fever...Catch it!

This is an actual quote from an interview done with Mrs. Palin yesterday. I shit you not:

QUESTION: (FOX) Are you going to continue to link Obama to Ayers with all of the economic problems going on?

A: Well, Americans are caring about the problems in the economy of course And wanting to know what those long term solutions are that our ticket can provide and what the other ticket is proposing so when you talk though about what it is that we are proposing and what it is that Barack Obama is proposing again it is relevant to connect that association that he has with Ayers--not so much he as a person Ayers, but the whole situation and the truthfulness and the judgment there that you must question if again he's not being forthright in all of his answers as to how did you know him, when did you know him, why would you continue to be associated with him!? It makes you wonder about the forthrightedness, the truthfulness of the plans that he is telling America in regards to the economic recovery because that is first and foremost on American's minds."

You're now free to bang your head repeatedly on your desk.

Say it ain't so, Joe....

Lieberman: "I worry about whether Obama has the right stuff to bomb Iran"

Once again, the junior senator from Connecticut literally sucks out loud. Honestly, this man needs to learn how to think before he speaks. What a jackass.

The Most Beautiful Woman in the Playhouse....

I had a horrible revelation today while navigating my way up 91 North in the pouring rain. Sarah Palin is playing us all. From the moment her face was plastered on every news outlet and blog in the universe anger erupted from all sides. Mostly because the media, used to their customary hand job in the back seat of the Cadillac we like to refer to as the first amendment, were not properly introduced to Mrs. Palin and subsequently had to jack themselves off – much to their chagrin.

Crazy stories about pregnant unwed teens, witch doctors, retards and tattooed lip liner flooded every lane and exit on the information super highway blocking the rescue crews from getting to the mangled wreck of how a potential vice president should be handled and applying the jaws of life. All of this was in the master plan of the Republicans, who for some reason have the market cornered on evil geniuses. All of it – from her nonsensical answers to seemingly direct questions, to her folksy demeanor – was in the can long before any of us outside of Juneau could reckon. It’s a total academy award worthy act.

I won’t be surprised in the least if she nails Joe Biden to the wall in tomorrow’s debate. She very well could come across as a slick, well-scripted politician with all the right answers and a smoking set of gams to boot. By letting the McCain campaign frame the entire debate around phony sexism and “gotcha journalism” the media has no choice but to retaliate. But their sheer predictability out of profound laziness will play exactly into the hand of McCain.

The bar has been lowered so far that Mrs. Palin can basically step over it without even showing any thigh. This is too easy for her. And if I’m right, it’s going exactly as planned. Biden hasn’t got a chance because we no longer care about the issues. All we’ll be looking for is Palin to completely fuck up beyond reproach. This is not going to happen. She’ll sparkle and shine. She’ll look lovely. We’ll eat it up. Nothing said will even resonate with anyone. Each base will walk away with what they’re craving. “Undecided” aka low information voters will comment on her looks, her accent, that she was sharper than they’d imagined and she’ll win it. All. A beautiful woman is never taken seriously. No matter what happens, she can’t lose. But for now, let’s savor the absurdity for a little longer. I give you Sarah Palin (nee Heath) in the talent portion of the Miss Alaska pageant.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/01/sarah-palins-beauty-pagea_n_130901.html

They Can't Be Serious....

This just in – What can only be yet another wincing example of the why Republicans just don't understand comedy, John McCain has picked Sarah Palin, the 44 year old governor from ALASKA to fill the long coveted seat of Vice President. Palin is the right wing’s example of what a female leader should embody (pun intended) - a former beauty queen and mother of five, including a 5-month-old son with Down’s syndrome and an 18 year old son off to Iraq next month. Palin is pro-life, pro-gun and pro-death penalty. No big surprises there.

She also was mayor of a town of 8,000 and has been Governor for a little over a year. Big time score with experience there, John. Furthermore, she has no policy what so ever on international affairs. The cherry on the Sunday - and it's a big one with a pit - she’s got a bachelor’s degree in Journalism. That’s it. No JD. Not even a Master’s. As a former Journalism graduate student with a 4.0 average I can assure you it is the second easiest degree to acquire next to Physical Education.

As John McCain celebrates his 72^nd birthday today, keep in mind that if he is elected and doesn’t manage to run out the clock, the next leader of the free world will be a former Miss Alaska runner-up with an undergraduate degree in what should essentially be a minor subject and a retarded baby to care for in addition to her duties as commander in chief. The Republicans have truly out done themselves with this latest political stunt. I can't wait for the debate between her and Biden. Tune in on October 2nd at 8 p.m. for the execution.